Astral Projection

I'd been feeling a little off for a while.

I usually keep myself in pretty good emotional condition but this time, no matter what I tried to get better, it just seemed to make it worse. My back was in painful knots, I was grumpy, touchy, looking out of my eyes like a hungry lizard out of his cave, ready to lunge at someone. I knew this wasn't going to go well for long, so I decided to use my spiritual power of last resort: Distraction! So after a really unsatisfying session of watching television I decided to try a spiritual technique that I'd ignored so far because I didn't know what it was good for: Astral Projection.

In the Huna worldview we assume that we start out before our births completely in the inner world, and a part of us focuses in such a way so we have a sensory experience in our bodies, which looks to us like we're in an "outer" world. But we can still move our consciousness away from of the body into all sorts of places, which gives us our imagination, telepathy, and our dreams. Using spiritual techniques you can use those to do all kinds of neat things, like fill up your bank account and heal your aches and pains. I'd never tried to astral project because I was pretty happy with how things were going for me. I'd heard of these pristine, realer-than-real experiences, and it just seemed fanciful- my imagination wasn't particularly clear or detailed but it got the job done- why bother? Astral just seemed fanciful, and really complicated to induce, so it just hung around in the maybe-try-this-later file. And then- in that situation, confounded, off-kilter and aggressively bored with television it seemed perfect.

Astral projection is very similar to the techniques I already knew. I'd done a whole lot of visualizing scenes to create things I wanted to happen in my life. I'd also done plenty of shamanic journeys to clean up all sorts of aches and pains and unpleasant habitual energy, so I knew how to have consistent experiences in other worlds. What was confusing about astral was that most people seemed to induce it from dreams, and that just seemed really inconvenient and time consuming.

So I read up more on the different methods, and I found one that seemed what I was looking for: You make up a picture of yourself, in the situation you want to explore, and start listening through those ears, and looking through those eyes, and moving using those limbs. I'd tried something similar before but I never got beyond a black-and-white, sketchy scenery, like someone had drawn a sketch with some white oil paint on a black canvas. It was consistent and I could move around okay, but it wasn't exactly breathtakingly profound, and a bunch of weird critters kept hanging around the street corners in my neighborhood. I wasn't impressed.

So this time, I was determined by escapism to get somewhere with it. I was lying in bed in darkness and decided I was going to figure out how to would move around outside- into the new body, and sure enough, there was my bad-TV-reception version of reality. So I tried moving around, and then consistency was pretty neat. So I decided to find out what I could do with it, so I decided to go to Africa. Immediately, I saw a jungle scene, and the word "Ghana" popped into my mind. I was looking around, trying to get more details of the scene I was in, when I saw an elephant! Then another, and another, and some calves, a whole herd of African elephants where walking right past me. I startled for a moment but then sunk in how neat it was that I didn't need to worry about getting stepped on. So the herd passed, and I'd realized just how exciting this is. Travel anywhere, immediately, with no risk! This was just what the doctor ordered. Black and white or not, this was exciting. I could go anywhere

So I flew straight up until I could see the earth's curves below me and the stars around me, and that reminded me of this extraterrestrial channeler who speaks for this extraterrestrial guy who happens to have a great sense of humor. So it occurred to me it would be really nice to pay a little visit with a member of that species, if one were available. Boom, right there in the space in front of me, there was a man with a large head, big eyes and grey skin, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. And it was in color. He invited me to come and meet his family, and there I was, in a roundish house presumably on his planet, and he introduced me to his wife and two kids.

Now I had just successfully applied a very strange spiritual technique, and I was talking to someone who was supposedly five centuries in the future, millions of light years away, and the result of an experimental genetic blending program between abducted humans and an extinct species who over-intellectualized things until they couldn't reproduce any more.

But what struck me was how normal this experience felt- just visiting someone's home and making some small talk. They were just really really nice people, spoke from the heart, and the kids where adorable.

I was having a really good time when I sort of broke down- my back had felt like needles before, but now it was being mashed up in a blender, and the reception started getting blurry- the projected imagery started flickering in and out of existence. The couple looked at each other, and they called up what seemed to be a doctor- a man with little suitcase full of assorted devices. He hooked up one to me, and I felt a sort of twirling sensation and most of the pain was gone at once. I took a few deep breaths, and doctor left, and the two of them looked at me with concern. They saw that I wasn't quite over the hill, so they brought in what must have been their idea of a shaman. He just looked at me and I felt like I was about to reach the peak of a psychedelic journey- a strong twirl, and a sort of shattering sensation and it felt like all sorts of concepts where just going away. I believe the term "ego death" is the one commonly used in that community, but it felt more like tearing a jacket that doesn't fit. It was really intense but not exactly unpleasant, and it was over really quick, and I looked around at my new friends, the shaman nodded and left, and felt calm. I thank them for the treatment, and got a sense that to to them it was like giving a band-aid to a friend who had stubbed their toe, yet for me it was this life-changing experience (while typing this out I am getting a message that they were aware of the significance of what they were doing and went ahead because it felt appropriate). So I chatted with them a little more, and thanked them wholeheartedly for the treatment.

I remembered that the channeled dude had said that they have a much higher energy level than we have, so if they'd come into contact with us, it would bring up any and all repressed emotion we might have all at once, so we would probably go insane or faint. Of course, on the astral level, the effect is less pronounced, but it did occur to me that that was probably what had happened to me, and my hosts responded with care and with kindness.

So I asked them if there is anything that I could do for them, and they asked me to place a little device into my heart. So I did, and I had yet another life-changing jolt of transformation! When I recovered, I let them know what I meant was my own societies idea of a little gift, and it occurred to me that they considered my visit itself to be a gift, so nothing else was necessary. But, they glanced at each other, understanding what they I meant, so they decided to humor my request to give them something back. It really wasn't necessary, obviously they had liked very much to interact with a member of earth, but they did realize that I really wanted to for some reason, probably habit. So as if the experience wasn't weird enough yet, they asked for- of all things- some of earth's magic mushrooms.

I have to say that my new friends have a really great sense of humor.

So I reached in my pocket- this is the astral, after all- and I gave out a couple of fresh mushrooms, and they ate them up- the kids too. I asked them if they're sure they want to give the kids some, and they said sure, their kids are spiritually so strong, they can handle them just fine. So we all stood there for a moment, patterns and color all over the place and gazing into each others eyes. I considered for a moment that I am witnessing an extraterrestrial child tripping with his parents, and then I said my goodbyes and many blessings and was back in my bed again.

Now I have to say in terms of distraction, astral projection is probably the greatest show on earth. If you've ever wondered why some people would rather be alone in a dark cave rather come to a show with you- well, now you know. I also had scratched a cultural itch like I'd been at an arts show or a music festival. But to boot- my pain was gone, and I felt calm and centered again for the first time since my little slide away into negativity had begun a little while before. I also finally managed to relax some back muscles that had stubbornly refused to budge even though I'd known that they needed relaxing for years. Now that I'm writing this it's a couple of days later and I'm doing amazing, and it's really easy to do regular visualizing and relaxing again. In terms of healing, this experience had been really really really really practical.

And, during the end, it was completely in color as well. Not exactly high definition- more like a Trinitron tube in the 80s, but hey, we though those were really great then too, and now I know that 120Hz HD+ is coming up, as well. In a sense it's true that all it takes is a little practice, but it really helps when it just seems to be the right time, as well.