Love Relationship Success With Huna

One of the hardest things you can do is fall in love and have a relationship. I'm not saying this to discourage you, but I mean it as a compliment. It means that whether you're just thinking about a relationship, or met someone and are wondering if they like you back, or have been married for 50 years- you are already doing really good just for having a go at it!

There's a reason for that. It affects every part of your life. Your identity, your plans, your physical surroundings, your body, your thinking, everything. No one else will ever get that close to you.

You can think of a relationship as something that is going to take every aspect of your being and give it a good shake!

So it's naturally going to hurt... that is, unless you are flexible.

Movement only hurts if you're not flexible.

So the first thing you want to do if you are interested in having or improving a love relationship is to be as flexible as you can be in your mind. The best way I know to do this is to have a few things you want to make happen for yourself, and also to clean up as many emotional snags as you can. You don't have to wait by any means, but it's good to have an ongoing process of making things better for yourself.

Then, the next step, whether you are already in a relationship or not, is to love them.

Here are a few things that, in Huna, have nothing to do with love.

• Making demands
• Trying to control in any way
• Creating any kind of pressure
• Any kind of transactional negotiation
• Use the person to fill emotional need in any way
• Requirement of specific behavior
• Punishment
• Any kind of criticism for any reason
• Any kind of pain for either of you

This may come as a surprise to you because your culture is full of ideas where love is this hugely dramatic thing where you can experience yourself on the edge. Or it becomes this very solemn construct where obligation and responsibility overwhelm. Huna love relationships have nothing of that, and they still work in very everyday real life.

Why? Because in Huna, Love Is To Be Happy With. If you're happy with the person, you're loving them. You will expand towards them, integrate them, connect with them, and share wonderful situations and feelings and things with them. Your love will carry you and them far.

But if you're unhappy with them, then they might still be your loved one, but at that moment, you're not loving them. You're pushing them away, diminishing them, limiting them, and it will feel painful to them. Any kind of criticism will end love right there, and if you do a lot of it- the relationship will end, possibly before it started.

In Huna, love is about

• Letting them get their way
• Finding little nice things to do
• Noticing nice things and telling them
• Maintaining a collection of positive aspects of them and going through them in your mind and also telling them
• Paying a lot of attention to who they are
• Being in the present moment with them and feeling their energy
• Imagining good things that might happen and talking about them
• Being very present and attentive

But how is this ever going to work? You might ask. I'm human- can't I ever be frustrated or set boundaries?

Of course you can. You don't have to be perfect. I don't think any shaman I know who practices his or her relationships in this way is going to be perfect. It's an ideal to aspire to. If you fail 99% of the time- forgive yourself and try again! It's okay. We start where we are.

But you can bet that shamans who practice love shamanically like this give all we have to getting better at loving this way. one less criticism. One less little jab just for the heck of it. One more bit of forgiveness. And once you are being loving more often than not loving, that's when your relationship starts to be happy. More appreciation than criticism, more excitement than fear, more confidence than doubt. Look at the happier couples you know. When they talk about each other, to they make stinging little jokes, or do they call each other things like "my rock" and "my love" and "my wonder"?

This moves the question of course into how to deal with feeling bad when you are around another person. A lot of times, whatever you are feeling just has absolutely nothing to do with that person, or they might just have shaken up some kind of insecurity that you already had. So it's always good to just start out with clearing up your own mind when you have a problem in a relationship- or when you have a problem starting one. A lot of times, you will uncover some really terrible beliefs that were the true cause of whatever hurt you were having. If you just get rid of a negative emotional response's root cause this way, you don't need to ask your beloved to change in all that many ways.

This will quite simply make you very easy to get along with.

Now none of this means that you don't have your own desires and preferences. It just means that you stop making a big fuss about them, or trying to be manipulative to get them. What you do is that you start causing them to happen directly.

In another articles, I showed how to use Huna to get rich, which involves the techniques of Shamanic Magic and dreamchanging to energetically be the sort of person things like receiving money happen to. Seemingly miraculous things, people showing up out of the blue and giving you money.

Now, this part is exactly the same for relationship success. You visualize and affirm and make happen the things you want to receive in your relationship in exactly the same way as you would do it in the wider world.

There is one step that one might need to look at in order for this to work well. You see, your loved one is not one person. Your loved one is a whole vast complex constellation of probably people who all come out at different times in different ways in response to all sorts of things! And which aspect of that person comes out happens to a large part in response to you.

So if you use Huna Magic to bring yourself to an energetic place where the things you want are likely to happen, that is going to shift you into a reality where those things spontaneously occur to the person you love to participate in. It doesn't matter in the least if you've never even heard of your loved one even remotely think about such a thing. The universe is vast. We are universal creatures. We are vast! The only thing holding back our loved ones from expanding in a way we would like to experience is our earthly culture of trying to make it happen through nagging and nitpicking. That causes them to contract.

Now- there is always the possibility that being with a certain person represents mostly being out of whack with who you really are, so all of this isn't supposed to mean that there will never come a time when you decide a relationship has run its course, and leave.

But it is saying that if you do chose you would prefer to stay, even if a lot of stuff isn't happening for you that you would like to happen- there is a way to really open yourself up to that that does not involve scary talks about where you are headed, but that just kind of is one thing leading to another.

To sum it up:

• If you're feeling off, fix it yourself. You can ask for help or connect with your loved one for support, but it's not their responsibility to make you feel better, it's yours.
• Find wonderful things that your loved one is doing. If you can't find a lot of good- put some in! Do this as much as you can.
• If you want things to happen, be very light on asking for them to happen. Instead, build up the energy for them to happen within yourself and it will be hard to stop it from happening instead having to push and pull.
• Give your loved one a break. Let them off the hook. Forgive them. Decide things aren't their fault.
• If the other person is giving you hard time, use dreamchanging to respond to an imaginary version of them being really nice. This will draw that aspect of your loved one into your experience. It will also make you spontaenously do more things your partner wants without really trying to.
• Act spontaenously in ways that feel good!

I hope this helps! So with the baggage being less and less, and your confidence in your happiness growing more and more, you will be able to share your love with your most beloved person more and more.